Fatherhood
by Nilahxapiel
Summary: Soichiro knows his son is Kira, he just doesn’t want to believe it.


Title: **_Fatherhood_**

Rating: T

Categories: Angst/General

Challenge: 50 word Challenge, set Beta by devchieftain.

Warning(s): _S_mall hints of L x Raito and Character Death.

Summary: Soichiro knows his son is Kira, he just doesn't want to believe it. 50 Sentence Challenge.

* * *

- 

-

-

1. **_Walking_**

For some reason, it's all too easy to imagine his only son walking away from him as he lies dying on the floor.

2. **_Waltz_**

When they were engaged, Soichiro and Sachiko learned the Waltz for their wedding, but Soichiro thinks the way Raito and L dance with their minds is so much more beautiful.

3. **_Wishes_**

Soichiro had never wished to be wrong as vehemently as he does in the small room with bars.

4. **_Wonder_**

Soichiro wonders if the smile Raito flashes so charmingly as Ryuuzaki is a true show of affection, or a manipulative technique from Kira to L.

5. **_Worry_**

When Raito spends the night at L's hotel to 'work on the case', he knows something else is happening, but it's L, and he hopes he doesn't have to worry.

6. **_Whimsy_**

Sometimes he dreams of a life without Kira, but when he wakes up, he laughs at himself for his whimsy and goes to work.

7. **_Waste_**

If Raito is Kira, he thinks it is a waste of genius that his son should use his mind for such evil, and he thinks that he must have done something wrong.

8. **_Whiskey and Rum_**

The night before he's supposed to shoot at his son, Soichiro drinks - even if he knows the bullets are blanks, the whiskey and rum still make his tongue taste sour in the morning.

9. **_War_**

He knows he must choose a side, because he cannot remain neutral in a war like this, even if he loves his son; because L's choosing justice over feelings too.

10. **_Weddings_**

Soichiro's always wanted to attend his son's wedding, but he doubts that will occur if that kiss he saw was anything to go by, and he supposes he'll have to wait for Sayu's …if he lives that long.

11. **_Birthday_**

When the killings stopped during Raito's confinement, Soichiro expected to be visiting Raito in prison on his birthday.

12. **_Blessing_**

When the killing's restart, Soichiro considers it a blessing, but he knows as well as L does that something isn't right, and he can't bring himself to be too happy about it.

13. **_Bias_**

Soichiro knows he is biased, as the main suspect's father, and when he looks at it objectively, the facts are clear -so he tries not to think objectively too often.

14. **_Burning_**

When he fires the gun at his son's head, he can almost feel the flames from hell licking him, burning him from the inside out.

15. **_Breathing_**

Raito's brown eyes are wide and frightened, his mouth agape, features etched in horror, his breathing harsh and erratic -and Soichiro has never felt such joy.

16. **_Breaking_**

L is still suspicious of Raito, and uses a chain to making sure that there is no chance of Raito breaking free, but Soichiro sees a second agenda that he tries not to think about.

17. **_Belief_**

Soichiro knows his son is Kira, he just doesn't want to believe it.

18. **_Balloon_**

The wide and pure eyes remind Soichiro of when Raito was a little boy and thought it was fascinating that a balloon could float like it did -but once Soichiro explained helium and Raito understood it, he never expressed as interest in it again.

19. **_Balcony_**

When Matsuda falls from the balcony, Soichiro sees that -if Raito is Kira -he nearly killed a task force member, and he wonders if Raito even cares.

20. **_Bane_**

Raito claims honestly that he doesn't want to kill L, that he's not the bane of his existence, and Soichiro almost believes him -he sees the doubt in L's eyes as well, even though he says otherwise.

21. **_Quiet_**

When Soichiro spends the night at home those rare nights, he passes Raito's bedroom door on the way to the bathroom and pauses by it, as though he expects to hear something more than the quiet of inoccupation.

22. **_Quirks_**

The chain that connects his son to L must annoy Raito, with all the detectives habits and quirks…but then Soichiro remembers that the way they gaze at each other when they think no one's looking.

23. **_Question_**

You are Kira; the statement that L used to say with such certainty has taken a questioning tone. 

24. **_Quarrel_**

When Raito and L fight, his coworkers cringe, but Soichiro knows it's just a quarrel -lovers or no.

25. **_Quitting_**

When L mopes and thinks of quitting, Raito cheers him up with information about Kira, and Soichiro can't help but think that their relationship is a bit endearing.

26. **_Jump_**

L doesn't thinks the 13-day rule is real, and Soichiro snaps as him not to jump to conclusions, even though he's not so sure about it himself.

27. **_Jester_**

Soichiro finds is discouraging that the only person that _really _believes Raito isn't Kira from the bottom of his heart is the jester of the group, Matsuda.

28. **_Jousting_**

Kira and L as well as Raito and Ryuuzaki are constantly jousting, combating, competing, their genius in a permanent contest.

29. **_Jewel_**

Soichiro isn't sure when, exactly, the jewel of light in Raito's eyes returned, but it's suddenly there again and he can't help but know something is wrong.

30. **_Just_**

Just when Soichiro was beginning to think that there was no chance his son was Kira, there was suddenly a falseness to his eyes again.

31. **_Smirk_**

His smiles became less of smiles and more of smirks.

32. **_Sorrow_**

Sometimes Soichiro catches a spark of sorrow in L's wide black eyes, but he is able to cover it up so rapidly that Soichiro thinks he may be hallucinating.

33. **_Stupidity_**

L once told Soichiro that it was stupid to get emotionally involved in a case, and Soichiro feels less lonely now that he knows that their in the same boat.

34. **_Serenade_**

While he can't see L serenading Raito, he thinks that Ryuuzaki is love with his son, and he wonders which of them have it worse.

35. **_Sarcasm_**

The only time Soichiro has ever heard Ryuuzaki use sarcasm was when Raito claimed 'I _care _about you!', to which L responded, 'I'm sure'.

36. **_Sordid_**

Soichiro tries not to get into the relationship between his son and Ryuuzaki because, sordid though it may be, he thinks L deserves a bit of love in his life, should he die soon.

37. **_Soliloquy_**

Sometimes Soichiro can almost hear the internal mock-moral soliloquy in Raito's mind whenever someone says something insulting about Kira.

38. **_Sojourn _**

Kira's presence had left only briefly, and for a little while, Soichiro's son had sojourned in his body again.

39. **_Share_**

Soichiro doesn't want to share his son with Kira, but doesn't see what he can do about it.

40. **_Solitary_**

When L died, Soichiro felt more alone than he had in the solitary confinement, now the only one left to suffer through loving Kira.

41. **_Nowhere_**

He occasionally peers his sons eyes to see if, perhaps, his son is still there, but he doesn't like looking, because he always sees that the Raito he knows nowhere to be found.

42. **_Neutral _**

Soichiro wonders if the neutral tone in Raito's voice when he gives L's eulogy was forced, or if he could really stand on the grave of the man who loved him (the man he killed?) with no emotion.

43. **_Nuance_**

Soichiro hears nuance in Raito's righteous tirades; it's small, but there, and so he tries not to listen to them.

44. **_Near_**

Soichiro remembers Raito catching L as he fell to the ground, hugging him in a near breathtaking grip, and Soichiro wonders if he was truly so affected, or if he is merely that clever an actor.

45. **_Natural_**

Raito was always a natural at everything, Soichiro recalls; reading, writing, tennis, chess -he supposes murder is just another of those things he was born with.

46. **_Horizon_**

There is no horizon to Raito's knowledge and, apparently, his cruelty.

47. **_Valiant_**

If his son would kill him without a second thought, Soichiro wonders if there is a reason he should be so valiant in the midst of his uncertainty.

48. **_Virtuous_**

Hoping that his son is as virtuous as he would like to believe, he goes to work the next day, as always.

49. **_Victory_**

He still can't help but think, that if Raito is Kira, his victory will mean their deaths.

50. **_Defeat_**

At the same time, if the task force wins, Kira will be defeated, and Raito will be put to death…and, for the life of him, Soichiro can't decide which one he prefers.

-

-

-

* * *

I've had this idea for a while. I just don't think Soichiro is as clueless as he appears about Raito's second occupation, and as far as I'm concerned, saying 'I'm so happy…you're not Kira…' when he's dying basically spells out that he still suspected him. I think in Soichiro's mind, there's a chance he'd known, but wanted to have faith in his son, which was why he always countered Ryuuzaki's accusations. 

This fic just explores that a bit. Along with Soichiro knowing about the bit of LxRaito stuff, because usually people make him against it. Although I love seeing him from an disapproving standpoint, I also think he's a great dad, and could quite possibly care for his son enough to look past it.

I hope I used sojourn and nuance correctly. I had to look them up. I just hope I didn't make a fool of myself. O.O My vocabulary's bigger now. This 50 sentence challenge _was _fun. :P

So please, please tell me what you think!

Nilah


End file.
